You Found Me
by Isildur's Heiress
Summary: Thorin was transported from Middle-Earth to Earth. More specifically into my bed. Now I have to teach Thorin the ways of 21st-century Cambridge, New York. Romance? Maybe. Hilarious shenanigans? Most definitely. Thoirin/OC
1. Not So Quiet

You Found Me

Thorin/ OC

Disclaimer: Mmmm, yeah decidedly not mine,

Summary; Thorin was transported from Middle-Earth to Earth. More specifically into my bed. Now I have to teach Thorin the ways of 21st-century Cambridge, New York. Romance? Maybe. Hilarious shenanigans? Most definitely.

Chapter 1, Not So Quiet

Thorin Oakenshield was sleeping peacefully in his chambers. Unbeknownst to him the wizard Gandalf has crept into his chambers, planning to transport the dwarf to parts unknown (to Thorin at least).

Gandalf tucked a note into Thorin's breast pocket and giggled rather maniacally, preparing the transportation spell. Within seconds Thorin glowed a mystical blue and disappeared.  
Gandalf strolled from the High Kings' former chamber, whistling merrily. Time to inform the elder of the two sister-sons that he had a temporary job.

* * *

Vivian Aithne slept dreamlessly in her flat in Cambridge, New York. The year was 2013, and she was as far from Middle Earth as humanly possible. A sudden weight on her bed and an unfamiliar arm curled protectively around her waist woke her, Vivian squirmed around so that she faced the person at her back. Thorin grumbled and pulled her even closer, so that she had a mouthful of the dwarves' beard. Vivian started kicking and hitting everything possible.

Thorin slowly opened his eyes and looked down at the delicately broad shoulders and slightly muscled arms that were beating ineffectively at his midsection. Thorin sat them up and turned around, gripping her shoulders and bringing her eyes level with his, he looked closely at her face trying to find any resemblance to the tavern wench that he thought he'd sent away the night before. The girl caught him rather by surprise when she surged backward, slamming his head into the footboard, and effectively knocking the Dwarf King unconscious.

Vivian rose from the arms of the dwarf, feeling rather triumphant, and ran into her bathroom for the emergency rope that never really had a purpose but sat in the medicine cabinet any way.

"Thank God." Vivian muttered to herself.

Peering around the door to the man still out cold on her bed , Vivian let out a calming breath and walked slowly out to her kitchen. A paring knife in hand, she stepped over to her bed and, cutting 1 ½ foot lengths, began to tie the stranger to the posts.

" Guess Girl Scouts all those years ago was helpful after all."

Once the strange person was sufficiently secured Vivian began to inspect him. Kinda creeperish yes, but she needed to know what she was up against.

A thick black beard obscured most of the lower half of his face, and hair of the same color streaked with white-grey. Strong-looking hips, powerful calves- surprisingly hairless- and, was that? Ohh. Yep, definitely male. Vivian shuddered, and began perusing his torso. Broad shoulders, well-defined muscles.

In a word? This guy was _buff_.

"What's this?" Vivian moved so that she was sitting on the stranger's thighs, ankles to either side of his knees , and pulled a piece of parchment from the pocket of his nightshirt.

The outside read; _To My Dearest Vivian. _Okay, odd. Vivian opened the note and read it, muttering as she did.

_My Dearest Vivian.  
I love you most. Don't ever forget that. This is Thorin Oakenshield, Dwarven King Under The Mountain. I've sent him to live with you because he has lost all semblance of the man he once was and he needs a re-education. I've chosen you to lead him on the path to recovery and becoming a worthy king. He'll be taller than one would expect for a dwarf, I've made some modifications to assure better blending. I'll come and collect him at your birthday picnic._

_ Adorations and Exaulations_

_ Ian Mithrandir_

_(P.s. Watch your language, young lady!)_

"Mother of Hell." Vivian cursed. The paper became a wad of nothing in her clenched fist and she cursed again. "Damn you Mithrandir! Send me a strange man! Expect me to care for him and _**retrain**_ him! Make him into a 'worthy king'! Oh, yeah, sure I don't care! I don't have a _life!_ I can just drop whatever I'm doing and do as you ask!"

She dropped her chestnut brown head onto Thorin's chest. "What am I going to do?" She groaned into the cotton shirt.

"You could start by getting off of my legs and telling me who you are and where I am." The chest beneath her forehead vibrated as the deep voice rumbled above her.  
Thorin's voice seemed expectant and spoiled. Vivian sat up and slapped the Dwarf square across the mouth.

"Whether or not either of us likes it, we're going to be stuck together for the next 5 months, and there is no way in HELL I'm going to tolerate being spoken to like that! Especially by someone who is only here by my good graces!"

Thorin's outraged look was almost comical! "YOUR GOOD GRACES?! Any wench should bow to me and serve me in anything and everything! I AM KING!"

Vivian raised her chin defiantly. " Well for a king you sure aren't in a very good position! And I am no common WENCH! I am your EQUAL and I DEMAND to be treated as such!"

With these words Vivian brought her hand across Thorin's face again. Tossing her hair over her shoulders and pulling her nightdown up to cover her shoulder, she reached into the drawer at her bedside. Vivian jumped from his legs, and, socks in hand, ran back into her bathroom, exiting this time with pink camo DuckTape.

"Woman, what are you doing?! Stop! I command y-! MM! MFGLR! MMMM!"

Vivian grinned. "You seem incapable of speaking civilly, therefore you won't be able to speak at all. When you calm down and decide to apologize I will untie you, remove the covering on your mouth and feed you. Meanwhile I will shower, eat, and probably read."

"MMMMH! MGMHGFDH! NNNNGH!" Thorin's eyes were murderous as he struggled and screamed against his bonds.

Vivian smiled. "I'll see you in a bit, my flower!" With that she left singing in the direction of the shower and something to throw.

* * *

Hi! I hope you enjoyed it ! I would like at least 7 reviews before I post again! And if anyone can tell me which movie Vivian's last line came from I shall reward with Thorin-Nommies!


	2. Called Torture For A Reason

Just warning this has a LOT of sexual teasing and general naughtiness. My Thanks and love to everybody who reviewed! I wold respond more personally but I've worked my butt off to give you guys this next chapter! And btw Everyone who posted their answer to the quote's origin got it right! *Passes out Thorin-Nommies* I love you all more than words can express and I present you with the next installment!

* * *

Chapter 2, It's Called Torture For a Reason

Vivian grabbed a clean pair of jeans, a blue V-neck, a towel and her iPod. She put it on shuffle and plugged it into the jack by her shower. Instantly One More Night by Maroon 5 blared, filling the small room with Adam Lavigne's sultry voice. Vivian undressed and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water spill over her shoulders and back as she contemplated her current issue. _What the hell am I going to do with the man tied to my bed? _Clothes first. I think I still have some of Johns' that might fit.

Thorin however was seething. How dare she? Who did she think she was? Struggling against his bonds until his wrists bled, and trying to work the crude (albeit effective) gag out of his mouth. Thorin wanted to scream. Oh! And how did _Mithrandir _work his way into this ? Thorin stilled as the tumblers of his mind clicked into place. Total stillness was replaced with a sudden desire to rip whatever was holding him fast out of it's place and find that insolent, unhelpful, irritating, just overall ass-hat of a wizard and- _Whoa. _

Vivian's low V-neck accented the swell of her generous breasts, her long, dark brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, bangs loose and framing her face, and her jeans hugged perfectly. _Damn._

Vivian strode into the living/ bedroom area of the flat. She internally giggled at Thorin's gaping expression, obvious even through the pink-camo duct tape gag.

"Are you ready to apologize, and speak civilly?" Vivian managed a cold indifference in her tone, raising one eyebrow when Thorin's answer was not immediate.

Thorin's 's steely grey eyes met Vivian's honey brown and he nodded emphatically, bobbing his head almost comically.

"I expect a full apology. I'm removing the gag first, I'll not remove anything else until then." Vivian said in a strict-mommy tone, adding, "And if you raise your voice I'll put the gag back in with _pins_. Understood?"

Thorin bobbed his head fervently, fear in his eyes. Vivian sat on his knees and reached over to the left side of his face and pulled the duck tape away in one swift motion.

"AAARGH!" Thorin howled and kicked so hard that he almost unseated her.

Vivian tried not to chuckle, really she did, but she failed. Quickly regaining her composure she gave Thorin a look that said 'I'm waiting.'

"My deepest and sincerest apologies for my behavior. I beg your forgiveness Lady-?" Thorin's tone was constricted and formal, and when he asked her name he cocked one eyebrow.

"Vivian. And there are no ladies here besides yourself. Call me Viv."

Thorin seethed silently at her jab. "May I please be untied now, Vivian?" Thorin's tongue curled uncertainly around her name.

Vivian sighed dramatically, "Oh, I suppose."

She leaned forward, intentionally pushing her breasts forward. Not that she was a whore, or desperate.  
No, she just wanted him to squirm.

She took the paring knife from the bedside table where it lay, she began to work it beneath the rope, careful of the skin on the back of his hand. Vivian worked the knife back and forth and finally the rope frayed and broke, this continued as she worked the other hand. When it came time for the ropes around his ankles, she turned her body fully, knees still beside his, and bent at the waist.

Thorin was having a rough time. No straight Dwarf that he had ever met (gay either, come to think of it) could resist a shapely back end. And having one bobbing between his knees. Well let's just say that was pure torture and Thorin was trying very hard to contain himself. He recalled his most off-turning memory, walking in on Balin and Gandalf going at it like rabbits. Ughhhh. Thorin physically shuddered.

"Alright. You're free." Vivian turned and rose to her knees, bringing her face dangerously close to …Urhrm.

Vivian fixed her hair and swung her knees from his. "Okay, go put these on and come back." She pointed him to what she had called the 'bathroom'.Thorin peered into the small room, wondering how it was supposed to hold him, much less give him room to move.

Snorting on contempt at the garment he was given Thorin was almost tempted to call for a different set. No. '_Take what you are given and be grateful.' _his grandfather's words rang in his head.

And nevermind what would happen if he tried. That woman has a dwarves' temper. After wrestling with the tunic-like article and pulling on the denim breeches, Thorin walked out from the bathroom to the smell of bacon and eggs.

"Good morning Sunshine." Vivian looked up at him and smirked. "We're going shopping after breakfast, so eat quickly." She set a steaming plate of bacon sausage and cheesy scrambled eggs in front of him, along with knife and fork.

"Yes, Ma'am." Thorin dug in hungrily, not bothering with the knife or fork. Vivian slapped the side of his head reprovingly.

"Manners!"

"Yes, Ma'am." Thorin sheepishly ate his food, using the proper utensils. "Vivian how do you know Mithrandir?"

* * *

Cliffy! Sorry that it's rather short but I couldn't stop it anywhere else without getting into shopping! And don't worry that Thorin's been whipped, his temper will come back into play! Loves! (P.s. If I could be graced with at least 8 more reveiws before next update I would be one very happy author!


	3. Who Are You?

Chapter 3: Who Are You and Where Is The Person I Tied To My Bed ?

* * *

"Never mind that right now. Eat." Vivian seemed stressed by the question but if Thorin noticed this he chose not to acknowledge it and pressed.

"How do you know Mithrandir, Vivian? You must tell me, I am the King."

Vivian lit like a match. "LIKE HELL I DO! WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS, KING OR NO?" Thorin shot up from the flimsy plastic table, knocking it over with a crash.

"WOMAN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DENY ME ANYTHING THAT I ASK! I AM KING UNDER THE MOUNTAIN!" His tone matched hers, withheld anger and emotion exploding in a fit of temper.

Vivian had held up reasonably under current circumstances, but Thorin constantly pulling rank like this was beginning to wear. She turned her body slightly, her eyes never leaving Thorin's, and pulled out her culinists' scimitar from the knife block to her right. Bringing the scimitar low on his jeans, Vivian pressed her body to his, holding her left arm bent, using the other to hold his lower back, keeping the point of the knife flush against the right of his zipper and nudging for emphasis and attention.

Vivian 's voice was soft and dangerous. "I will not hesitate to take off the reason they call you king. Hold rank over me all you like, it will gain you no ground and bring you no pleasure."

Vivian removed the knife and pressed the point instead to the hollow of his throat.

"I've dealt with bastards like you since I could walk. Self-important assholes who think that their opinion is the only one that matters. I don't tolerate it. As long as you live in my house you and I are equals and will _discuss_ issues with some semblance of manners and distinct lack of shouting. Newsflash, buddy, women in this century _have _opinions and _use them."_

A fierceness sharpened Vivian's eyes "And as for Uncle Ian? He and his husband saved me from a world of pain when I was 16."

Vivian threw herself from him, slammed the knife back into the block and ran from him into her bedroom. The door slammed and he was alone.

Thorin was was struck dumb.

Over the course of an hour this woman had tied him to her bed, slapped him, gagged him, teased him, threatened the one appendage that he valued more than Erebor, and beaten him in both of their shouting matches.

He swore he had fallen in love.

At _that _particular thought Thorin banged his head into the nearest corner of the wall. Much harder than he meant to. Ow, son of a bitch that hurt!

Vivian's voice echoed, choked and broken, like she'd been crying. "You break anything and I'll kill you! And not nicely!"

Thorin chuckled at her threat. He heaved a giant sigh and began to right the mess he'd made. Thorin picked up the broken plate and glass that had been half-filled with an orange colored juice. He deposited the pieces of broken glass into the sink, planning to ask Vivian about what do with them later. Thorin righted the light table and looked around for a dish towel.

* * *

When Vivian stumbled out of her room about forty-five minutes later she found the broken dishes gone, the entire kitchen sparkling and Thorin, King Under The Mountain himself, on his hands and knees cleaning the orange juice stains out of her crappy laminate floor.

Vivian raised an eyebrow and asked warily, " Who are you and what have you done with Thorin Oakenshield?"

Thorin looked up and smiled. Vivian noticed that he had taken a strip of the nightshirt that he had worn during the transportation and bound his long, dark hair back, it revealed the blue and silvery grey in more detail than she had ever thought possible.

He chuckled as he rose, enveloping her in his arms tightly. Vivian did not fight as he expected her to, she actually seemed to relax more in his arms than ever.

"We seemed to get off to a bad start. I'd like to fix that." Thorin stepped away and Vivian wanted to cry.

He extended his hand to her shakily. "Hello, I'm Thorin Oakenshield. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

His voice, when not thunderously raised was quite smooth and comforting. Vivian shook her head and smiled, taking his hand.

" I am Vivian and I assure you the pleasure is all mine."

"Now I believe you said something earlier about shopping? I'd like to see the differences in our world in more detail." Thorin sounded earnest and curious.

Vivian was wary at first but when there seemed to be nothing behind his tone she nodded her head.

"Car or walk? Oh. Wait. Damn!" Vivian shook her head at her own foolishness, of course he wouldn't know what a car was.

Thorin cocked an eyebrow at her antics but did not press.

"Nevermind. Let's just walk." Vivian said quickly.

Grabbing her keys she turned the door handle and tugged Thorin's sleeve.

"C'mon! Let's go! Farmer's market first and then the store."

Thorin looked uneasy as he resisted leaving the closest thing to sanctuary that he had since his leaving Erebor the first time. Taking one deep breath, Thorin willed himself past the door and into the 21st century.

* * *

A. N. Alright, not as many reveiws as I would have liked but I decided to post this chapter anyway. I have one request though, if everyone on this stories' favorite or follow list, and even new people to this story would put one thing that you liked or didn't like or think that I could improve on or anything, in a review. I really need feedback and helpful ideas. I Love you guys anyway just for reading, this would definitely be helpful though.

Oh! And for those of you who aren't sure a culinists' scimitar is a foot and a half long curved knife used for cutting large pieces of meat or other things


	4. Revelations of Meddlers

Chapter 4, Revelations of Nephews and Meddlers

* * *

Fili, and Kili were rolling all over Gandalf's tower floor.

"When she-" Fili wheezed between laughing fits."

"I know! Did you see his _face_?" Kili responded clutching at his sides.

Gandalf's gaze was apprehensive. " Are you two quite done? I have something a bit more somber to show you that will explain Vivian a bit better."

The boys sobered up and stood over the palantir once again. Unlike before the swirling clouds did not reveal their Uncle and Vivian, this time it was a sixteen-year old Vivian cowering in a dark place. Outside of her apparent hiding-place a deep male voice, obviously inebriated, called for her.

"Viv-vian! I gots some gent'le man callers for ya! Time to come an' play schweetness!"

When Vivian did not come running, the man ,that the boys assumed was her father, ran directly to the place he knew his daughter would be hiding. He pulled her by her arm screaming from the bottom of the hall closet.

"Daddy! Please no more! I'll be good, I'll cook better, I'll do _anything! _Just no more, Daddy! Please!" Vivian's eyes were wide and pleading, no shred of hope in them, even as she begged.

The man yanked her face close to his by her hair. "Shaddap you filthy whore. I need the money. Go put on your bes' ou-fit and yer pretty face. These guests are specshul." When Vivian hesitated, he shouted "NOW!"

Vivian complied, tears streaming down her face. She opened the door to her room and crossed it to the lighted vanity next to the window. Vivian sat down on the plush velvet cushion and began to run a brush through her hair, while she did so Fili and Kili heard her whispering and they strained to hear.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, and her name was Vivian. She had silky dark brown hair, cinnamon-colored eyes and the sweetest smile and everybody loved her. Everyone, that is, except her cruel father."

Vivian stopped running the brush through her hair and picked up a stick of eyeliner.

"When Princess Vivian had been only a baby Queen Susan, her mother, took her away from her father. The Queen brought the complaints against her husband to the Emperor's Court to try to keep the wicked King away from herself and her daughter forever, but to no avail. The Court decided that the child would spent one year, every other year with her father."

Vivian paused again to take a makeup brush from the glass and begin to apply a bit of bronzer and blush.

"When the princess' mother died and she lived with her father full-time her life was miserable. Her father always forced her to sing and dance and otherwise entertain his disgusting fat guests. The princess' one solace in this dark and gloomy part of her life was the talking mirror in her room that always told her stories, particularly her own so that she would never forget and could one day escape the horrible prison of her father's castle."

Vivian pulled a small-looking red leather dress from her closet and a matching pair of high heels, and pulled them on quickly. Her father's voice rang for her in the hall, and Vivian steeled herself with a deep shuddering breath.

Gandalf stopped the vision in the looked up at him horrorstruck. " Was her father-?"

Gandalf nodded solemnly. " I was her mythology teacher at the time and I had seen unusual bruises in unusual places. I had the police mount an investigation on her father's residence. Needless to say, her father was arrested and put away for the foreseeable future. Until two days ago."

The boys' mouths dropped open. "HE CAME BACK?!" They chorused in disbelief.

Gandalf nodded. "You see I sent Thorin to Vivian for a twofold reason. He can protect her and she can mend him."

* * *

A.N. Many thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited. (I would still like to get more reviews per chapter, though.) This explains most of the events of last chapters. This was not an easy chapter to write, and I apologize for it's shortness. I hope I can get a few more reveiws before next chapter. *SPOILER* Thorin and Vivian are in an adult novelty shop and more next chapter. (:


	5. What Is This?

Chapter 5. What's this?

Vivian had spent the last hour and a half trying to explain to Thorin that the things blazing past him were not Wargs or other enemies trying to kill him, a high adventure to say the least.

Finally the pair had reached the farmer's market three and a half blocks away, and Vivian almost sobbed in relief. The market was normally quiet and Vivian thought that it would be a good place to start Thorin's 'immersion process'.

"You can roam around. I won't be outside of yelling distance should you need me." Vivian chuckled under her breath. " I doubt that you will."

Thorin looked impassive, but his tone betrayed a hint of worry and discomfort. "And you? Where will you be?"

Vivian looked at him with a cocked brow and slightly inclined head. "Why would my whereabouts concern so great and independent a king?"

Thorin's eyes sharpened slightly and his tone was more gruff than what Vivian had come to assume was normal. "They do not."

Vivian chuckled again. "I'll see you later then, don't leave the park and come find me if something catches your eye."

Thorin nodded and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his - as Vivian had called them- jeans. Thorin thought about the differences between this and the markets in Dale as he browsed methodically, ambling down the right side of the row and up the left. Thorin inspected everything with a critical eye, noting the rather poor workmanship of the jewelry and toys as well as the bruising and mars of the produce, among other things.

As Thorin was working his way up the third row he heard a familiar sound, accompanied by a much-loved and dearly missed sight. A group of children sat in a circle around a withered man who was telling a story. Some of the boys were sitting forward, heads in hands, captivated. A group of girls were taking turns braiding each other's hair, obviously still listening intently, if their frequent and dramatic gasps were anything to go by.

The story seemed to conclude as Thorin walked closer, and he couldn't help the disappointment that flickered across his features. The elderly man hobbled to his feet with the help of the children, all of which begged for another story.

The elder glanced over his shoulder and a knowing look crossed his face and he grinned. He bent down to the boy at his elbow and whispered in his ear.

The young boy's face lit up and the child trotted over to Thorin. "Will you tell us a story, mister? Please?"

Thorin gazed down at the boy, no more than eight, rather shocked. The child's wide sky blue eyes begged, and the other children began to repeat the question. With each new pair of wide eyes, each new hand that pulled at his sleeves, Thorin found it impossible to deny these unknown children anything.

"I suppose." Thorin told them, sounding rather shell shocked.

The group sent up a resounding chorus of 'Yay' and pushed Thorin onto the stool that the previous storyteller had just vacated. "What sort of story would you like to hear?"

The boys of the group shouted for an adventure, and the girls called something about love. The ensuing argument between them was rather funny, and gave Thorin time to think for a moment. When the children quieted Thorin spoke.

"I have a story that should please both parties." The group fell completely silent. " It's called 'There And Back Again', and it is a story about loss and love and adventure but most of all about coming home. And it begins in a hole…"

Taking a deep breath Thorin began to tell the group of children at his feet the tale of the claiming of Erebor, leaving out most of the really gory bits, and making Bilbo into a gentlewoman, unsure whether or not _that _particular relationship would be appreciated by parents, but otherwise using the names and places that he had traversed over in Middle Earth.

* * *

Meanwhile Vivian was only slightly worried. It had been almost forty-five minutes since she and Thorin had parted at the gate. She thought that she would have heard him calling to explain something or to ask her for something. Vivian noticed that there was a group moseying toward the Story Circle, where anyone could tell any story that they thought would be listened to.

Slowly, so that she would not chip any of her new pottery, Vivian worked her way through the throng to see for herself what was going on. To her surprise Thorin was in the center of a group of children and adults, mimicking the fatal blow and battle cry that ended The Battle of Five Armies and won Erebor for the line of Durin.

" The King and the two Princes had sustained serious injuries and for a long time healers feared that he and his two nephews would not live."

There was a collective gasp from the audience.

"But do not fear, all lived. Now as the King was getting better and taking on more and more of is duties the Lady Baggins came into his chambers. She told him that she had to leave for her home and probably wasn't coming back."

Thorin's voice changed and became more reminiscent and sad.

" The King begged and pleaded with her not to go, to stay with him and rule as his queen. But with one last kiss Lady Baggins was gone from Erebor forever."

The assembly as a whole bore a look of sympathy for someone in a story that they didn't know was true.

" The King took actions most shameful at this point, rather than working hard to restore Erebor and upholding his family's legacy he drown himself in drink and women, hoping that one of them could take the Lady Baggins' place in his heart. None did."

Thorin looked up and saw Vivian standing in the crowd, smiling.

He leaned in close to the children and stage- whispered.

" And one night the mischievous wizard snuck into his chambers and sent him away to a faraway land, and he has not been heard from since."

The group that Thorin had gathered around himself applauded loudly and many of the children hugged him about the legs and begged for another story tomorrow. "Perhaps, I'll have to check it over with the lady of my house. Until then!" Thorin turned and waved to his audience, grinning wildly.

He turned around expecting Vivian, his tone smug. "I think that I- Vivian? VIVIAN?!"

A bloodcurdling shriek pierced the air. "THORIN!"

* * *

A.N. I have a few things to say in this one so brace yourselves. Firstly thank you to everyone who favorited and reviewed this story, I love that you like what I do for fun.

Secondly, while I appreciate constructive criticism I don't overly appreciate being told that something I've done is "horrid" or "uncalled for" and with that if you plan to stop reading my story have at it. Just don't waste my time and yours by telling me so.

Anyway I hope that no one minds too much that I've taken Thorin out of character more so than normal with this chapter, I'll fix what I can with out screwing up the story in the next few chapters. Reviews are appreciated very much! Until next time.


	6. Ghosts of Enemies Past

Chapter 6. Ghosts of Enemies Past

Cold fear ripped through Thorin's body. He had heard that tone before.

Breaking into a run he sprinted toward the screams of his own name, all other things forgotten.

"Damn you Mithrandir. You could have sent me with Orcrist." Thorin cursed under his breath. No sooner had the words been out of his mouth the sword appeared feet from him, Thorin stooped to pick it up, never breaking his pace. Vivian's shrieks intensified and Thorin's eyes rested on possibly the most horrifying sight he had ever seen.

"Azog." He breathed.

But it was not Azog exactly. He was still deathly pale and scars littered his face and arms, but instead of missing most of his right forearm there was a tattoo of a wicked looking barbed trident running from his elbow to the back of his hand. Azog's cruel blue eyes locked with Thorin's and he laughed.

"I take it that my beautiful Vivian here didn't tell you who her father was?"

Thorin's eyes widened and he looked to Vivian whose downward facing head was caught between the left forearm and bicep of the Orc-man, pain and shame pushing tears down her cheeks.

Thorin straightened and his voice was passionless. "No, she did not."

Azog laughed even harder, and roughly jerked Vivian to look at Thorin. He whispered into her ear menacingly. " Now I want you to see what happens to your new boy toy and all after him you filthy whore. I want you to watch him squirm and writhe in pain."

Vivian tried to jerk away from him and he tightened his grip on her throat. "Or my darling you could go and entertain my friends there," Azog rotated her so that she could see the thugs behind him.

Vivian turned her head toward her scumbag father and spat in his face. "Go to Hell, you pig!" She spat in his eye.

Azog blinked the spittle out of his eye. "Alright then."

Azog released her just enough that he could throw her into the midst of the men behind him. "Hold the bitch. I have a more pressing itch to scratch."

With a feral grin Azog rounded on Thorin, who stood with Orcrist gripped in both hands, legs apart. The Pale One advanced, recently obtained sword in hand.

The world came into strange focus for Thorin as it always had when in hand-to-hand.

He could see the scratches and dents in the sword held by his opponent, the flexing of the muscles in his own hands as he unconsciously gripped Orcrist tighter. A deep breath entered and left his lungs with an odd calm.

Another in.

Azog was about four feet from Thorin. Perfect. The wind lightly brushed Thorin's face and ebony hair as he exhaled.

Another in.

Thorin sprang with a ferocious battle cry that startled even Azog, who stumbled back a few inches. All eyes followed Thorin as he vaulted through the air and onto the ground before Azog, swinging Orcrist with practice and ease. The swing itself brought Orcrist through the sinews and muscle of Azog's neck before the Orc-man could so much as blink, much less attempt to block.

Thorin stood, chest heaving, as Azog's body and head hit the dirt in the alley.

Another heartbeat and Thorin was twirling and spinning through his enemies' former ranks who attempted to finish their master's bidding. Bodies littered the ground around Thorin and after a time no more came. Thorin was breathing hard and once all the enemies had been eliminated he rushed to Vivian's side. Her eyes were wide with fear and awe, even as she dropped into a dead faint.

Thorin didn't quite understand the feeling that coursed through him when he saw Vivian mostly unharmed.

He gathered her into his arms and called. "MITHRANDIR!"

Within seconds a blinding flash radiated within the alleyway, and Gandalf stood beside Thorin.

"She needs help." Thorin said seriously, past thoughts of turning the wizard into pulp for sending him here temporarily vanished.

Gandalf nodded and took her into his own arms. "I'll come back and take care of the bodies after I get the pair of you home."

Thorin nodded. A flash. The three of them were in Vivian's apartment. Gandalf set her on the bed and bent over her, finding and healing her wounds.

After a few minutes Gandalf stood and addressed Thorin. "I've done what I can. Now all that we can do is allow her _lots _of rest."

Thorin nodded again, and Gandalf raised an eyebrow at his uncharacteristic compliance. "Do you need me here?'

Thorin verbally responded for the first time since the alley. "Can you show me how to prepare some foods for her?"

Gandalf gave a half-cocked smile and walked Thorin to the refrigerator. Taking from the top door a mini pizza he proceeded to explain what it was and how one would make it using Vivian's toaster oven.

Thorin asked how Azog was able to exist when Thorin had destroyed him on Middle Earth.

Gandalf sighed. " His master, the Necromancer, created an alternative body for him on a different plane of existence. And on this plane he created and abused Vivian."

"How-?" Thorin asked. "She seems so impenetrable."

"I think you know that the best way to create strong armor is to have it pierced." Gandalf said darkly.

Thorin glanced up at him in outrage. "He-?!"

Gandalf nodded.

Minutes later Gandalf barely contained his laughter when Thorin jumped out of his skin because of the timer's bell.

"What." Said Thorin breathing hard " In Aule's. Most sacred ass. Was. _That?!_"

Gandalf chuckled. "It's done now. Remember, don't try to eat it until you can touch the cheese with your fingers. I'll be taking Orcrist with me back to Middle Earth, by the way." Thorin was horrorstruck. "Don't worry. If you need it simply ask."

"Keep an eye on Fili and Kili, will you?" Thorin asked.

"Two, as often as I can spare them. They'll return the favor I'm sure." Another flash and the grey wizard was gone. Thorin thought over his words, and growled when he understood.

A whimper came from the bed across the room. "Thorin?" Vivian sounded very shaken.

"Yes?" Was Thorin's reply.

"Could you come hold me? Just until I fall asleep?"

Thorin was shocked. What had happened to the woman who had slapped him? Had shouted at him and win the argument? Right. Azog had happened.

" Of course. As long as you want me."

Thorin crossed the room, pizza forgotten, and climbed into the bed beside Vivian. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Is this alright?"

Vivian nodded. "Could you sing to me please?"

Thorin's answer was a dwarves lullaby that had Vivian limp in his arms.

* * *

A.N. Alright. Blooming romance. Bad daddy dead. For everyone possibly worried that Vivian is going to become a weaker character because of this, she isn't. She'll come back with a vengeance, and throw in Thorin-in-denial. My friends we are going to have a paaarteh! OH! And Lotheleniel I hope that this was 'specshul' enough for ya!


	7. Of Frozen Pizza

Chapter 7. Of Frozen Pizza.

When Thorin woke his arms were empty and the bed beside him cold. Bewilderment replaced his previous contentment and fear soon replaced bewilderment. Thorin shot up and out of the bed."Vivian?!" Thorin ran about the flat calling her name, his voice growing in volume and pitch as his harried search yielded nothing. Upon entering the kitchen Thorin noticed the remains of the single frozen pizza that he had successfully made and the note upon the now- refrozen cheese.

_**Dear God Finally! Thorin I'm going to assume that you just spent the last fifteen minutes running around the house calling my name. **_Thorin smiled sheepishly , and caught himself nodding. _**Well then. Now that you've had your fright for the morning, I've gone out to the store. I meant to yesterday, but…..y'know. Anyway, I need to replenish a certain food item in my freezer(*Cough cough*)as well as pick up a few other things for your stay. I've left about 9:30 and I'll be back no later than 11.**_

_**Love, Vivian.**_

Thorin felt his heart jump in an indescribable way when he read her love, sure some part of him scoffed "_Not _that _way, you idiot." _but the inkling of a romantic that war and Bilbo had not yet managed to strip away unburied itself and gave a elf- like dance and squeal of victory. Thorin ignored his mental elf, shuddering at the thought that _any _part of him could be considered elf like. Thorin looked at the clock on the microwave and he groaned. Only 10:30.

Well it gave him time to enjoy his pizza and explore Vivian's flat. Thorin cringed at the thought of what he had found the _last _time he had explored a woman's rooms, they had been Dis's. Thorin swore that he had bruises on his ears still.

After reheating his pizza and eating it Thorin began to roam the flat listlessly, not thinking about anything besides _"Is she okay? Urrgh. When is she going to be home?" _

About 5 minutes into Thorin's impatient pacing he tripped over his own feet and sprawled onto the off-white carpet floor. The thought crossed his mind to roll about on the floor as he had as a child, Thorin shook his head, No.

That was not kingly behavior, what would Vivian say and do if she saw him? "_Probably just laugh." _Quipped his ever-prevalent mental elf. Thorin instead flipped onto his back and stared boredly at the ceiling, dozing off after just a few more minutes.

* * *

Vivian came into her house about an hour later with so many plastic bags on her arms that, from wrists to elbows, it almost looked like she didn't have arms. Thorin jolted awake, the rustling of the plastic sounding much like the rustling of Orcs coming through the underbrush. Vivian smiled. "Morning. Good nap?"

Thorin groaned and got to his feet. "A very stiff one, but I rested fairly well."

"I'm glad." Vivian stated almost absently as she unpacked different kinds of vegetables, a few steaks and some berries. Suddenly she perked up. "You get to make us- I mean-me dinner then!"

Thorin tensed, and apprehension set in. "What's going on? Who else is here?" His heart sunk. "Are you talking about your betrothed?"

Vivian looked up at him with a quizzical look on her face, and once she had registered his question she burst out laughing. Thorin, under the misguided assumption that Vivian was laughing at him for not seeing earlier that she was, in fact, betrothed or courting, allowed his anger and jealousy flow over him and explode.

Thorin's voice was low and dangerous, poisoned by misconception. His icy blue-grey eyes narrowed and they reflected anger and hurt and jealousy.

"I did not laugh when you were vulnerable." Vivian looked up at him, rather shocked. Thorin continued, pushing away the part of him that urged him to stop, to see. "As I recall I held you as you cried, _comforted_ you!" Vivian rose, glaring expectantly, chin and eyebrows raised.

Thorin's rant continued, his voice rising. "Simply telling me that you were in a relationship would have sufficed. By Aule, woman!"

Vivian took two strides toward him, closing the distance between them. Her face burned with anger and confusion, her honey colored eyes darkening. Thorin was taken aback. "Vivian, I-"

"No. I've heard enough from you." Vivian's voice sharpened. "I was not laughing at you. I was laughing at the fact that I had a significant other and would not have told you."

A small defeated "Oh." was all that left the Dwarf King's lips.

"As it stands I need to go and get my best friends' five-year-old daughter Naomi. While you stay _here _and _cool off _I'm going to drive into the village and get her." Thorin nodded, stubbornly emotionless. "It'll be about two hours." Vivian pulled her purse over shoulder and grabbed her set of keys from the rack by the door.

"I'll see you and the little one then." Thorin said as she walked out the door.

Vivian paused and looked out from behind the door. "Bye."

And she was gone again.

* * *

A.N. Thank yous to everyone who reveiwed and especially to Tr1x1e for helping me and giving me advice _outside _of FiccWorld. I absolutely adore everyone who's reviewed.


	8. Settling In

Chapter 8 Settling In

Thorin groaned aloud after Vivian left, and let his head and shoulders slump to hit the wall the he had leaned on. "Really did it this time, didn't we?" Thorin asked no one in particular, his eyes closing from internal frustration.

Thorin raised his head and shoulders from the wall and glanced around the house, he wrinkled his nose at the dishes that he had made and the foodstuffs still sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Thorin narrowed his eyes and set his jaw determinedly, deciding that to try to make the hurt that he had caused up to Vivian by cleaning her home as best as he could.

Taking a deep breath Thorin untied the strip of fabric, that he had used this morning to hold his hair, from around his wrist and, taking his thick ebony hair into one hand, Thorin wrapped it three times around the narrowest part and knotted the two ends.

Placing his hands on his hips as he considered what to start with, Thorin decided to finish putting away the groceries and then the kitchen, from there moving to the living/bed room. After that he would tidy up the 'bath' room, and the side room that had a small bed in it, presumably for the Naomi-child.

Thorin shook his head as he attempted to find the correct cabinet for the spices in his hand. It would definitely be interesting having a child around again, not having had consistent and constant contact with them since Kili.

Thorin sighed.

* * *

About 2 and a half long hours later, Thorin collapsed on Vivian's bed. He had not expected to be _that _tired after simple housekeeping, but the stress of trying to find the damned soap among other things had done it's job.

Thorin had also started a pot of chicken-veggie soup and was just letting a loaf of French bread rest and rise. He chuckled to himself when the thought of his mother naggingly teaching him to cook and to clean, promising that one day he would be glad that she did.

How true that was.

Soon Thorin's eyes started to slowly drift shut and, without his conscious decision, he fell asleep.

* * *

As luck would have it Vivian and Naomi came home about a half an hour after Thorin had fallen asleep. Vivian strode through the door, a sleepy Naomi in tow.

"Sorry it took so long. Had to make sure Mimi had everything she needed."

Looking over her shoulder from unbuttoning Naomi's midnight blue windbreaker, Vivian could only see the Thorin's silhouette on her bed.

"Thorin?" A guttural snort and movement of the figure on her bed were her only answers. Vivian looked back to Naomi's soft, tired sky-colored eyes and white-blond hair in pigtails.

"Okie Dokie, looks like Thorin is sleeping baby-girl. Why don't you go and set up your room while I make sure that the stuff on my stove is actually food."

Naomi nodded and began pulling her bags one-by-one into the side bedroom that was painted pink and white, just for her. Vivian straightened, chuckling and shaking her head as Naomi exaggerated pulling a clear plastic bag that was filled with Disney Princess Barbies, a pink plastic tea set and a few play dresses, the entire thing could only have weighed about five pounds.

Striding over to the stove, Vivian opened the lid of the pot and was immediately washed over with an amazingly intoxicating scent. Putting the lid back on hurriedly before she did something stupid, Vivian lifted the cloth that covered her red salad bowl. She saw the most perfect-looking lump of French bread dough that she ever had. Vivian smiled, and reached over to the knob in the center of the stove turning it to 350 degrees. While she waited on the oven to heat up Vivian separated the dough into two pieces and put each on two greased cookie sheets. After a few minutes she popped them into the oven, and went to check on Naomi.

Naomi was busy organizing her toys into respective drawers and toyboxes. She barely looked up from her task as her honorary aunt peered around the door at her.

"Hi Auntie." Naomi chirped.

"How's sorting goin', Honey?"

"Fine." Naomi dropped a Bratz doll into the toybox at her side.

"Hungry?" Vivian asked as she knelt beside her.

"Not really. I just kinda want to finish my toys."

Vivian nodded. "Alright. Just let me know when you're feelin' munchy, 'kay kiddo?"

Naomi bobbed her head and Vivian got back onto her feet.

"Auntie?"

"Yeah, baby?"

Naomi's eyebrows contracted, and the young girl looked contemplative. "When's Tho- Thorin, going to get up? I want to show him how to play Tea Party, like you said."

Naomi's straight face and Thorin's most likely reaction to being taught Tea Party was too funny for Vivian, who managed to contain her self enough only to chuckle. "Soon enough, baby. I promise."

Vivian left the girl to her own devices and she checked on the bread. Noting that it was almost done, Vivian walked over to her bed and sat on the edge. Vivian leaned close to the snoring King's ear and whispered.

"Get your dirty ass out of my bed. Now."

* * *

A.N. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far as well as favorited or followed. I do want to say on that note that I need some more feedback from you, my beloved readers. Until next time, my lufflies!


	9. My Dearest Naomi

Chapter 9 MY Dearest Naomi

* * *

Thorin gasped and jolted, his eyes cracking open. He groaned and rolled onto his other side, burying his face into the pillow that he had crushed in his arms.

"Woman my back end is cleaner than your house. Let me sleep." Thorin mumbled .

Vivian laughed. "Thank you for cleaning my house, by the way. However I think that there is someone who is rather excited to meet you."

Thorin half turned over and cocked a bushy black eyebrow, managing a single-eyed look of incredulity. "Hmm?"

"Naomi?" Vivian reminded him gently.

"Mm." Thorin's eyebrow raised in recognition and his eye closed again as he rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head as he did so. "I'll meet her later. Need sleep."

Vivian laughed. "No I think that after dinner you and I need to have a discussion anyway." When Thorin didn't move Vivian sent an aggravated look up at the ceiling.

"Acts like a damn two year old." She muttered.

Sighing Vivian grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it quickly away from the Dwarf King's body. Now Thorin had been expecting this and, rather than curling into a tight ball to preserve warmth as Vivian had thought he would, he sprung from the mattress, grabbing Vivian by the waist. Thorin was conscious enough of his surroundings that he didn't tackle her to the floor, but wrapped his legs around hers and rocked back into the bed.

He rolled over, arching his back up and going onto his forearms and knees so that he would not crush her, and he began spidering his fingers over her sides. Vivian's eyes widened at the touch, one that she hadn't felt since she was a child and living with her mother. Thorin's fingers were gentle over her skin, not pressing to the point of pain, but just enough to set her nerve endings aflame and make her giggle and shout with laughter.

Naomi peeked her head out of her bedroom door to see what all the noise was about.

Vivian looked to the side and called between bouts of laughter. " Mimi! Help me!"

Thorin's eyes were trained on Vivian's tear-streaked face, and part of him was relieved that these tears were ones of joy. Thorin leaned his face closer to hers and allowed his hair and beard to tickle her face and neck, prompting her to further giggling.

Naomi, being fiercely protective of her aunt ran as quickly as her little legs could carry her over to Vivian's bed, launching from the stack of books at the foot of the bed with a war cry that was as fierce or more so than Thorin's own. Naomi clung to the back of Thorin's shirt with one tiny hand, as well as her knees, and with the other she was beating ineffectually at his back and shoulders.

"GET. OFF. MY AUNTIE. YOU. BIG. MEANIE WORM!" Each word had been punctuated with a blow to Thorin's shoulders, except the last two

which had been delivered with a rather forceful kick to the left shoulder blade.

Not having been cursed at like that since Fili and Kili's childhood, Thorin found being called a 'meanie worm' rather hilarious. Only Vivian squirming and bouncing around, yelling that the bread was burning roused Thorin from his laughter, allowing him to jump away from her, moving Naomi from his back and into his arms, enough that she could run to the oven and try and rescue it.

The only problem with Thorin jumping around on Vivian's bed was that there simply wasn't enough bed.

Thorin ended up painfully wedged between the bed and the right wall, an indignant Naomi sitting on his chest, arms crossed.

"Serves you right." Naomi said decisively, using him as a footstool to boost herself back onto the bed. Thorin let out a pained 'oof' when she planted her foot in his diaphragm

Thorin heard Vivian's voice. "Naomi! Be nice."

"Is he Thorin?" Naomi inquired.

"Yes dear. Why?"

"I'm really glad that I brought Daddy's old dresses is all."

* * *

Dinner and the next four hours of watching Vivian and Naomi sort toys and set up Naomi's room was largely uneventful, Thorin only stepping in when needed. After Vivian and Naomi had done the dishes and Thorin had put away the rest of the soup and the salvageable bread Naomi was sent to put on her pajamas and brush her teeth. Vivian pulled Thorin to the futon that stood a few feet left of the bed.

Thorin looked concerned. "What's going on?"

Vivian looked rather troubled. "How do you think that you'd be watching Mimi for most of the day tomorrow?"

Thorin answered warily. "It would be fine. Why though?"

"My boss, the royal ass that he is, doesn't let his 'best pastry chef' take more than one Saturday off every two weeks. It's totally bull crap and I don't like having to take the shit that he throws my way, but I need the money. Especially now." Vivian sighed.

"What is happening now?" Thorin asked.

Vivian took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak, when Naomi entered the room. Vivian held her open arms out to the girl, and she ran into them. Vivian pulled the tiny girl to her chest tightly and rocked her, lips pressing to the top of Naomi's head. Thorin noticed that silent tears ran down Naomi's cheeks.

Vivian let the little girl back onto the floor and hugged her.

"Goodnight, baby. I love you."

Thorin opened his arms hesitantly. "May I have a goodnight hug as well Miss Naomi?"

Naomi looked at him, assessing. And without word or gesture she ran headlong into Thorin's open arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his chest as best as she could. Naomi buried her face in the curve of his neck and a choked "I'm sorry." left her lips.

Thorin cleared his head of the shock of the moment and wrapped his arms around her and rocked the tiny girl as Vivian had. "Don't worry my dear. I forgive you."

The pair just stayed like that until soft snores emanated from Thorin's beard, at which point Thorin carried Naomi into her bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. Thorin pulled the covers over her, and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

When Thorin came back out to the living area Vivian had tears in her eyes. " I've never seen her act like that with anyone but her parents and me."

Thorin inclined his head. "You were saying?"

Vivian nodded. "Yeah, Lily, Naomi's mom, is going through a really bad divorce and I'm Naomi's court appointed guardian until the divorce and child custody disputes are settled."

Thorin nodded not really sure what any of that was. Vivian ran through a list of things that Naomi did and didn't like, how much to feed her and when, and most importantly how to recognize naptime.

After that Thorin slumped over on the futon and fell into a sleep filled with carnivorous Ducklings. Yes. Carnivorous ducklings.

* * *

A.N. I love you everyone who reviewed and I gave you all a nice long chapter to celebrate this being far and away my longest and most reviewed Fanfic! Blue button? Please? Y'know ya want to!


	10. Nobody's Going To See This, Right?

Chapter 10. Nobody's Going To See This Right?

When Thorin woke the rosy predawn light flowed through the window and the white curtains that surrounded it. He could hear soft sounds of movement and a child's voice floating from the room.

"No, Pricilla." A moment of silence then; "You'll just have to wait for Mister Thorin and that's final."

"For what, little one?" Thorin asked across the room.

A happy gasp came from the child who peeked around the doorway. "Thorin! I've waited for forever!"

Thorin groaned, rolled out of bed and walked over to the little girl, who ran to meet him before he had taken three steps in her direction.

"Oh! Oh! Thorin can we play-" Naomi was chattering so rapidly from repressed excitement that the rest of her sentence was garbled and Thorin was not enough of a morning person to translate.

"We can play any game you like _after _breakfast." He said tiredly.

Naomi stopped, grinning. "You promise?"

" I promise. Did your aunt give you food before she left?"

Naomi shook her head. "I only woke up a little bit ago and Auntie was already gone."

Thorin nodded. "How about cereal and eggs?" Thorin had no idea what was so appealing about pieces of puffed rice colored and saturated in sugar, but Vivian had told him that it, along with scrambled eggs, was one of Naomi's favorite breakfasts.

Naomi nodded fervently. "Then go get dressed. I'll have it ready by then."

The child took off at lightning speed back into her bedroom. Thorin chuckled at her antics and opened the fridge, taking out an egg and the milk. Taking a pan fro the hanging rack above the sink and a spatula from the glass mug to it's right. Thorin cracked the egg into a bowl and whisked it around quickly with a fork, pouring it into the warm pan on the stove. He shook about a quarter bowl of the odd puffed rice into a clean bowl and set the milk beside it on the table. Moving quickly back to the egg he flipped it over so that the whole egg cooked without having runny bits and dried-on egg in the pan.

Thorin had just put the egg on the plate and set it beside the bowl of dry cereal when Naomi launched into the kitchen area announcing loudly, "I'm back!"

Thorin took one look at the way that the child had dressed herself and he suppressed a chuckle.

Naomi had a faux-satin yellow dress with matching tiara and shoes, over which was worn a paint-stained smock. Thorin was reminded of when his nephews had stolen and worn his armor to the dinner table trying to make a formidable impression on their guests, ambassadors from the Blue Mountains, no less. Thankfully the boy's antics had merely amused them, Thorin and Dis, however were another matter entirely.

Thorin, acting the perfect gentle-dwarf that his mother had raised him to be, pulled out the chair with a gracious "You look lovely Lady Naomi."

Naomi beamed up at him and curtsied before clambering into the chair. " Thank you kindly, Master Thorin."

Thorin grinned and chuckled again. "Tuck in, Little One."

After Thorin had made himself a piece of toast and Naomi had finished her breakfast, the child announced that it was time for them to go and play.

"Alright, Little One. What game?"

"Getting ready for Tea and then Tea Party!" Naomi chirped brightly.

Oh hell.

But, as he was insistently reminded, Thorin had promised and there was no backing out of a child's promise, so with a sigh Thorin allowed himself to be led into Naomi's room and pushed onto a stool.

"What's your favorite color?" Naomi asked as she considered the clothing in her closet.

Thorin thought for a moment and said decisively, "Red." thinking that would be a safe color.

Naomi nodded, still considering the closet. "I don't have a red dress in your size. Would you wear pink?"

Thorin's eyes widened and he could feel the blood drain form his face. "Dress? Why can't I look like a boy?"

Naomi looked at him witheringly. "Boys have to sit in the chair at the wall and not play tea party. I want to play and everybody knows that it's no fun to play alone."

Thorin was struck by the young girl's reasoning . " Just a dress and I can play Tea Party with you, right?"

Naomi's look turned irritatedly condescending. "No. I have to do your make up and hair and stuff."

Thorin's eyebrows hit his hairline. Naomi's face scrunched like she was about to cry, and Thorin had no hold against her.

"Fine. But don't tell Vivian."

"Yay!" Naomi squealed and clapped. "Stand up please and take off your shirt. The dress won't fit right with it on"

Thorin did as asked, although grudgingly.

"Thank you." Naomi pulled a pink dress that looked, surprisingly, about the right size. "Now put this on please."

Thorin pulled the dress over his head and adjusted the waistline and hem down. After attempting to sigh Thorin discovered that it was almost impossible to breathe deeply and when he tried again Naomi hurried over and proceeded to readjust the fit while she scolded.

"You can't breathe like that!" Thorin was shocked when the small child slapped his arm. "You'll break the stitching that way!"

Naomi steered him back over to the stool at which he had sat previously, now being told to sit straight with his hands in his lap. A small table stood at Thorin's left elbow and it was covered in little dishes of what appeared to be blue, purple, pink and green powders and even smaller tubes of a pinkish red paste, formed to a soft edge. There were also various combs, brushes, clips and what appeared to be long, thin strands of hair, bound with a clip at one end, colored pink, blue, purple, and green also.

Naomi moved to his back and took all of his hair away from his face and twisted enough that she could bundle it at the nape of his neck. For his beard she did the same, just positioning the knot low on his chin, rather than his neck.

She moved in front of him again and peered into his eyes, choosing a peacock blue shade of powder and asking him to close his eyes. Thorin was unnerved by the feeling of something moving over his eyelids without the intent to rip his eyes from their sockets.

Next the child took a violent pinkish shade of the tubed paste and told him to open his mouth. Thorin decided afterward that the paste-like stuff was definitely not edible. At all.

When Naomi let his hair fall over his shoulders Thorin assumed that she was done and made to get up. Naomi pushed him back onto the stool.

"I still have to do your hair." She said forcefully.

Thorin sat and allowed his hair and beard to be brushed and adorned with butterflies and flowers and awkward braids, as well as ribbons and a bow holding up part of the hair over his right ear.

Naomi stepped back and looked over her work, she clapped once and pointed to the table and said, "Now we get to play Tea Party! I'm the hostess so I sit here and I have to serve you and all of the other guests. Okay?"

Thorin nodded and assumed the place that Naomi had said was for him. The little girl proved herself to be quite the hostess, serving tea-cakes( clay) and imported tea (warm water.). The pair and the other dolls that made up their party until Vivian made it home for her lunch break.

* * *

Vivian walked into her house and was immediately on edge. Neither Thorin or Naomi was openly visible.

"Mimi? Thorin?"

"In here, Auntie!." Naomi sang.

Vivian walked to the bedroom, setting her coat, purse and keys by the door. The sight that met her eyes was one of mixed horror and hilarity.

Thorin was all dolled up, blue eyeshadow running an arc from the corners of his eyes to well above his eyebrows, making him look like a bearded, dark haired Red Queen. This observation was furthered by the ghastly pink of the lipstick that ran into his beard and the reddish-pink of the dress, and shoes.

"Never. Again." Thorin growled. "Never. Ever. Again.

* * *

Back on Middle Earth Fili and Kili were too thunderstruck at their Uncle's unusual appearance to laugh. Instead they turned to the madly giggling Gandalf.

"WHERE CAN WE FIND THESE?"

* * *

A.N. I hope that this made you laugh.


	11. Wrong Choice Of Words

Chapter 11. Wrong Choice of Words

Fili and Kili stared at Gandalf still rolling about and giggling on the floor.

"Gandalf?" The wariness in Fili's voice was a tip-off to his brother that he was worried. And probably about whether or not the wizard was stark-raving mad.

The wizard froze, and then, with a last chuckle, rose and dusted off his robes. "I'm fine. Just fine."

The look Kili gave the wizard from behind his elder brother said that he wasn't so sure.

Fili, straightforward as always, cleared his throat pointedly. "Is there any way that we could see or speak to Uncle?"

Gandalf grinned at the older of Thorin's sister-sons. "As a matter of fact I have a way that you can do both, Vivian and young Naomi as well, if you so wish."

Kili brightened at the mention of Naomi. "I would certainly love to meet the child who made our oh-so-macho uncle into a princess for the day, eh brother?"

Fili looked at his younger brother over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. Turning back to Gandalf he spoke. "How long will the spell take?"

Gandalf grinned wider, and let loose a low chuckle. "A matter of minutes. Just allow me time to….collect things. And if you would manage to put these on while I take care of the magical end?"

Fili and Kili both raised an eyebrow at the clothing that they were handed by the aged wizard. Breeches in an unfamiliar fabric, belts, and matching white under shirts, on which the sleeves were a strip of fabric running vertically over the shoulders.

Gandalf turned to them. "Oh." And within seconds the pair were handed over-tunics, one shortsleeved and royal blue for Fili and the other, a three-quarter sleeve in an olive-y/ forest green for Kili.

"The spell is ready boys." Gandalf rumbled, sounding to Kili very close to laughter. The pair stood before the wizard, nervous and almost shaking with anticipation. Gandalf placed a piece of paper in Kili's pocket and shushed his attempt at a question.

Within seconds the brothers glowed blue and disappeared.

* * *

Meanwhile on Earth Vivian, Thorin and Naomi had just completed teaching Thorin how to effectively use the shower an hour ago and, having eaten dinner beforehand, were happily dreaming about nothing. That is until a certain pair of bodies thumped into two different locations in the house.

Kili for his fortune landed in a rather cramped, albeit soft, space next to a very small, very warm body. Naomi turned around and gazed at the young Dwarf with sleepy blue eyes that, after slight inspection of the person beside her, closed again.

The sleeping child then burrowed closely into Kili's chest and clung to his shirt.

Fili, for his part, was not half so lucky.

Fili had wound up wedged between his Uncle and the young lady whose bed he had fallen asleep in again, the pair continued to tell themselves that it was merely for anti-nightmare purposes. As imagined after the last few day's events Thorin was immediately aware of another body between him and Vivian that was definitely not Naomi, and he reacted like any respectable warrior would. Within seconds of Fili's landing he was flying again, this time his journey was stopped by the floor and the wall.

More confusion was added when Vivian's front door opened and her friend, Lauren, entered.

" WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AND WHERE IS MY BABY?!" she shouted tossing her golden hair, sapphire eyes glinting.

The entire flat stilled.

"Nice to see you too, Lauren." Vivian chuckled breathlessly.

"Where is she?" Lauren demanded, mother's instinct taking over entirely.

"Right here. She's still sleeping." Kili said as he moved slowly from the child's bedroom, said sleeping child in his arms. Naomi's hands were fisted in his shirt tightly and her legs were tighter still around his waist, even as she slept.

"And who are you?" Lauren asked with contempt.

"My question too." Said Vivian as she turned to Thorin, looking at him with a pointed question in her eyes.

Kili smiled. "Kili, at your service. I would bow Miss Vivian, but as you can see, that would most likely result in me dropping the young Naomi."

Fili groaned from a few feet away. "And I am Fili, also at your service. I too would bow if I was not recovering from a rather forceful meeting with your wall."

"That's nice. Give me my girl." Lauren came toward Kili with her arms outstretched.

Kili attempted to pry the girl's tight fingertips from his shirt. The only thing that came off were a few buttons. Lauren latched her arm around Naomi's waist and pulled slowly, nothing. Thorin rose and took hold of Kili's shoulders, and Vivian went to Lauren's side as well, pulling Fili from the floor and shoving him toward Thorin and Kili.

Fili rested his hands on Thorin's shoulders and the instant he made contact a bright light flared on each of their bodies and an uncomfortable heat resided in that light.

Fili and Lauren had sun-like light streaming from the cove( that small finger-sized indent between the back of the earlobe and the neck.)of their right and left ears, Fili's light on the right and Lauren's on the left.

Thorin's left and Vivian's right shoulders seemed to emanate moonlight, and Kili and the now-woken Naomi had a softly bright light shining celestially from their right and left hips, respectively.

When the light faded the four adults in the room looked at the places from which the lights had faded, and found the outlines of roses branded into their skins, apparently from the inside out.

Fili and Lauren's roses were half-closed, and in a light sky blue color. Thorin and Vivian's were bright crimson and fully bloomed. Kili and Naomi's roses were not a single rose as the other's were, but a small rose bush with one blossom in a light pink that was tinged at the very edge with a scarlet.

Thorin was the first to realize exactly what all of these strange events meant.

"Ah, shit."

* * *

A.N. Lotsa Fili/Kili in for the forseeable future. I apologize for the choppiness of this chapter. I'm not happy with it at all, but I figured that i would reward everyone for making me the happiest author ever! I hope that you enjoy it!


	12. Well Then

Chapter 12. Well Then.

Thorin's head was reeling. The three dwarves had all found their One, and in the same second. All three of the Dwarves knew exactly what happened, and was trying desperately trying to wrap their heads around it.

Lauren was frantically trying to scrub her rose out from behind her ear, and Vivian looked about ready to either throw some thing or cry. The only female who was nonplussed was Naomi, who was chatting animatedly to Kili. The young dwarf had pushed himself as close to the wall as possible without going through it, and his elder brother was staring openmouthed at his uncle hoping that Thorin, at least, had some form of an idea about what to do.

He didn't.

After a few more seconds Thorin cleared his throat. "Vivian would you put Naomi back to bed please? I need to speak with the three of you."

Lauren looked frightened and wary, but she too cleared her throat. "I'll do it. I haven't seen my baby girl in what seems like an age." She held a hand out to the blond girl. "C'mon baby. Mama's going to tuck you in."

Naomi bounded over to her mother, grasping her hand. "Can Mr. Kili come and tuck me in too?"

Lauren looked at her daughter, puzzled. "You'll have to ask Mr. Kili."

Naomi looked back over to Kili, delicate eyebrows raised in question. "Please?"

Kili smiled, and rose. "Of course." He looked over at Lauren. "As long as your Mama doesn't mind."

Lauren shook her head. Kili beamed and took Naomi's other hand. The three walked into the other bedroom and didn't emerge until a high-pitched "Night-night everyone!" rang from it and the light was flicked off.

Kili looked at his uncle, giddy and nervous. Thorin gave a slight nod in response. "Vivian, Miss Lauren. I- I don't know how to properly say this, but it would see that Fili, Kili and I have found our Ones."

Realization dawned on Vivian after a few seconds. "Are you saying-?"

Thorin nodded. Vivian was thunderstruck. "No-but we just met. I can't- We aren't- Why?"

"Why what?" Thorin sounded more patient than he ever had.

"Why didn't this happen to us when you landed in my bed? Or Kili in Naomi's?"

"It takes at least three dwarves to make the charm work." Kili jumped in with the answer.

Lauren up until this point had looked utterly confused and lost, now she just looked pissed. "You. Are. My daughter's. Soulmate?" She looked as though he had gotten Naomi pregnant.

Kili looked appropriately scared of the livid mother in front of him. "Yes?"

They found out where Naomi had gotten her war cry. Lauren launched in to the youngest dwarf, pinning him to the floor screaming obscenities. Kili's instincts kicked in and he flipped them over so that Lauren was screaming up at him rather than down. "Quiet yourself. Naomi will wake again if you keep this up."

Lauren's eyes narrowed, but she didn't contest him or scream at him any more. Kili moved his hands from where they had been holding Lauren's hands above her head. Fili rushed to her side and supported her back as she sat up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern etching his futures.

"M'fine." Lauren said and she pushed him away, standing on her own. Fili looked almost hurt as he knelt on the ground.

Vivian was decisive. "Alright we'll worry about this all in the morning. For now let's get set up for bed. It is 10:30 after all and Lauren and I have to get up for work in a few hours."

Vivian spent the next few minutes getting the full-size air mattress for Fili and Lauren. Before either of them could protest, Vivian cut them off.

"It's this or one of you on the floor." Neither of them said anything. "And besides that Thorin and I will be sharing my bed, you won't be the only ones sleeping together."

Lauren gave her an incredulous look after her word choice. Vivian rolled her eyes. "Not like that."

Once the air mattress was fully inflated Vivian tossed some sheets and two blankets onto it. "If you want the bed made then make it."

Turning to Kili, she handed him a blanket, and had him help her move the futon out so that she could lower it and make it into a bed, sheets already on.

"Goodnight." Vivian grabbed Thorin's wrist and dragged him to her bed, not waiting for the responding 'goodnight' s or Thorin.

Kili clambered into his sleeping place, shed his overshirt, and pulled the blanket to his waist. "Thank you, Miss Vivian. Goodnight all."

Fili and Lauren wiggled onto opposite edges of the small mattress and pulled their individual blankets up to their chins.

Thorin and Vivian were now used to one another's presence in the bed and didn't mind laying with the back of Vivian's head resting on Thorin's chest, Thorin's hand on the rise of her hip. The light flicked off and the room was silent but for the snoring of Kili.

* * *

Later in the night Naomi woke from a nightmare and padded out into the living area/ bedroom of the flat. Looking over the sleeping bodies, she smiled.

Her mother had, in fact ended up in the same position with Fili as Thorin and Vivian were. The little girl snuck over to Kili's bed and climbed up into it, wriggling her way underneath Kili's arm and the covers.

Kili woke up with a start and lifted his head. "Mm?"

Naomi contained a giggle. "Night-night, silly boy."

Kili groaned and pulled his arm closer around Naomi's midsection. The tiny girl curled her fingers over the back of his knuckles and the pair fell asleep.

* * *

From far away Gandalf sighed a happy sigh, everything worked as it should have. Now where was his husband?

* * *

A.N. I have a few notes on this chapter so hold on. Firstly there will be no Kili/Naomi until much, much later. Secondly the Dwarves are all about 6 feet tall. Thorin is the tallest at 6'3, Fili at 6'1, and Kili is 6'. just points of clarification. I'd also like more feedback from you, my darling readers. Until next time beloveds


	13. Mornings

Chapter 13. Mornings…

The next morning the entire house was awake and eating at 7:30. Vivian and Lauren had pulled a quick pancake-sausage-egg breakfast together that the boys and Naomi had wolfed down the majority of in fifteen minutes or less. After a call from Lauren's boss, a very angry-sounding man, and Vivian's chef superior, who seemed overly sexual, the boys were abandoned with a very hyper Naomi.

Earlier Vivian taught Thorin how to use the spare cell phone so that if anything happened they had a modem of communication. Lauren had also made it very clear that none of them were to leave the flat without Vivian or herself, at least until Lauren's divorce and restraining order were filed.

Naomi kissed her mother good-bye and watched her walk down the steps.

Turning the little girl clapped her hands once. "Can we play a game?"

Three resounding NO's echoed around the flat and Naomi's face fell. Suddenly she gasped and ran into the walk-in closet at the end of the hall, she returned carrying three black cases and dragging a cart with a square shiny-faced thing on top and multicolored ropes leading off of it. She pulled the cart in front of Vivian's bed.

Kili gave the girl a quizzical look. "What's that?"

"T.V. and three of my favorite movies." Naomi said matter-of-factly.

"Ahh." Three voices rumbled the same confused agreement.

Naomi put one end of the strange ropes into the wall and flicked a switch beneath it. She took a flat shiny disk from the first of the three cases and put it into the rectangle one shelf below the large square.

Naomi looked at the three boys who had been watching her with their heads cocked and their mouths open slightly. "C'mon. Let's watch the movie!"

The four of them clambered onto the bed, Naomi sat between Kili's legs, leaning back on him, remote in hand. Thorin and Fili sat on either side of Kili, dangerously close to the edges of the bed.

"So what is this?" Thorin asked, leaning to look at the tiny blonde, whose loose hair was fanned over Kili's chest.

"Shh. Just watch." The little girl quipped , flapping one hand at his face.

Thorin huffed. "Well fine."

The movie that Naomi had chosen was one called "Silence Of The Lambs". Thorin and Fili were all but clinging to Kili, who was giggling maniacally with Naomi by the end.

"Warrior, I may be, but that was simply horrifying." Thorin said shakily. Fili merely nodded, eyes wide. Naomi only laughed as she put in the next movie.

"You'll love this one." She promised as she settled back into Kili's chest.

This movie was one called "Halloween". Even Kili seemed a bit more perturbed than he was when watching "Silence of The Lambs." but Naomi only laughed at the carnage and psychotic plot as Thorin and Fili moved almost imperceptibly closer to Kili.

At the end of "Halloween" when Naomi crawled to the edge of the bed to change the disc, a loud crash rattled the metal door and the wooden frame of the doorjamb, jarring all four of them.

Thorin was the first to come to his senses. "Kili take the girl and one of Vivian's knives into the bathroom."

Fili was by his side, hands empty but no less ready to fight than his uncle. One more tremendous shudder on the other side of the door and the it came loose, crashing into the wall.

"HONEY! I'M HO-OME!"

The pair of men that stumbled through Vivian's door were both about four inches shorter than Thorin and unimpressive physically. The older one had thick white stubble covering his face from underneath his nose to his ears to well below his chin, and matted, thinning hair in a matching shade of white . The younger, presumably the son, had sandy-colored curls and drunken, raging pale blue eyes. The younger was the one who had shouted and had continued to do so, this time calling for Naomi. The older man's eyes alighted on Thorin and he chuckled darkly, his son's head snapping to the King as well.

Their voices melded and became deeper, changing into the voice that Thorin still heard in his worst dreams.

"Oakenshield. You thought that you had escaped me when you killed me the last two times, did you not?" The Voice chuckled.

"You did not and you never will. Not as long as my Master lives. Until that moment I will become the demons that you face, in this world and all of the worlds to come. You will not be alone in your suffering." A mirrored grin spread across the two men's faces.

"No I will torment my spawn as well. I am the man that darling Vivian struggles with at her job. I am the people that vie for control of the life of sweet Naomi. I am the man who has beaten and broken beloved Lauren. I am and I always will be every minor nuisance, every chaotic moment and I. Will. Never. Let. Go."

A sudden light filled the room, blinding the Dwarf King and Price for a moment. When the light faded the wizened wizard, Gandalf stood between the Azog-men and the Dwarves. He raised his staff above his head and brought it down onto the floor, his grey eyes boring into the men, shouting as the staff struck.

"NOT TODAY, SAURON!"

* * *

A.N. I Don't own any of the movies mentioned. Thank you everyone who has commented, favorited, reviewed, or otherwise projected to me that you liked my story! This is by far my best-liked, and longest story of FF. I would also like to thank everyone who has helped me outside of FiccWorld! I need two different restaurants for our adult pairings to got o for a first date of sorts, so if you would be kind enough, please leave me the names of your two favorite restaurants! Until next time my Lovlies!


	14. I Love You

Chapter 14. I Love You

Kili and Naomi crept from the bathroom, Kili using one hand to keep Naomi behind him and clutching the kitchen with white knuckles in the other.

"Uncle?" He called.

Fili answered, sounding moderately relieved. "It's safe. Mithrandir."

Gandalf was almost bowled over by the excited five-year old that barreled into his arms. The wizard quickly cast his human glamour over himself, and greeted the child.

"Naomi! How are these young men treating you, my dear?" He smirked at the Dwarves' openmouthed expressions of wonder and bewilderment.( None of them had ever seem him without a beard or robe, much less with short, iron-grey hair or a string of beads around is neck.)

Naomi had wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned back to look at him. "I like them! Mister Thorin plays Tea Party with me and makes me breakfast! And Mister Fili lets me play with all of his hair and put ribbons and clippies and stuff in it!" She turned to look at Kili, beaming. "I think that my favorite is Kili though."

Gandalf raised his eyebrows and inclined his head, as he too looked at Kili. "Really? And why is that?"

Naomi faced him again, nuzzling into his chest. " He lets me snuggle with him when I have bad dreams, and he holds on to me when we watch scary movies."

Vivian and Lauren entered quietly (Gandalf had repaired the door) just as Naomi began speaking about Kili. Vivian and Lauren templed their fingers in front of her open lips, her eyes were wide and glinting with unshed tears.

Naomi continued. "Haru? What does love feel like?"

Gandalf smiled at the Sindarin word that he had told her to call him when she was a wee thing. "Well my child what do you think it feels like?"

Naomi bunched her eyebrows and pursed her lips. Kili and Vivian chuckled lightly at her expression.

" That wasn't my question." She muttered stubbornly, but continued. "I think it feels like a blanket right out of the dryer, warm and soft and snuggly. It feels like a hug from Mommy and a kiss goodnight after a really long day."

Gandalf smiled at her, something almost like sadness in his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

Naomi looked contemplative and puzzled for a minute, as if she was phrasing her words carefully. "Well, I'm not sure, but I think that I love Kili. Not like Thorin and Auntie."

The pair looked at each other, acknowledging the truth behind her words, if only to each other and themselves.

"But like Mommy loved Uncle John." Naomi looked over at Kili again, who was now openly shocked by the child's declaration, grinning she continued. " For now."

Gandalf smiled and laughed at Kili. "Why wait?"

Naomi's face turned all business. "We both need to grow up a bit."

Lauren cleared her throat. "You're completely right there, baby doll."

Vivian coughed something that sounded something along the lines of 'mostly Kili' but added. "On another note Lauren and I decided to treat Thorin and Fili to dinner."

Vivian smiled at the still gobsmacked Kili. "That is, as long as Kili doesn't mind watching Naomi for the night?"

Kili shook his head. Vivian clapped her hands delightedly. "In that case-" She paused, her gaze running over her pillows. "Dinner can wait. I'm shaving you three."

Vivian strode into her bathroom and multiple clatters and bangs and exclamations of pain were heard, each of which caused the Dwarves to flinch. None of them tried to talk her out of it, whine, or otherwise attempt to dissuade her from her mission.

She emerged triumphant, a strange black case, three razors, a comb, hair gel and a towel in her arms. Vivian put everything onto the kitchen counter, took one of the kitchen chairs and three trash bags from underneath the sink.

"Who's first?"

As it turned out Thorin was the first to have his hair shorn, all the while muttering about sheep and 'that damned woman'. Vivian had taken cosmetology along with her cooking classes in college, so the end result was actually very well done. Thorin's beard was also shaved off, much to his dismay. [ A.N. Think normal Richard Armitage.]

Fili's golden locks, hair, beard, and mustache, were also done away with in the same manner. His cut, however was a bit longer when wet to allow for his natural waviness. [A.N. Think Dean O'Gorman, scruffy with short hair.]

Kili only had his hair cut. The other two were very jealous that he didn't have to endure the shame of having his beard cut, but they were scolded by Naomi when they tried to torment him beyond light teasing. Gandalf having left, the older girls pillaged the guest closets, which were really just the clothes and other things that had been left by the previous tenants and Lauren's brother and Vivian's ex John. Finally Thorin was in a wine colored, long sleeve button down buttoned to the top except the very top button and dark jeans. Fili had on a half sleeve, sky blue button down, half open with a with a white wifebeater underneath and light-washed jeans.

Only took about a half an hour total, give or take.

Lauren and Vivian spent the next hour and a half doing their own hair, choosing outfits and doing each other's make up.

By the time they were all ready, they made quite the group.

Vivian wore her hair up in a bun, leaving down enough of her bangs to frame her face, her make up was subtly accenting her eyes and cheekbones. She had on a black skirt that hugged her thighs and a slightly baggy peach sweater that emphasized the curve of he waist and black flats.

Lauren wore an olive green cashmere t-shirt and white slacks paired with matching four inch heels. Her hair was curled to frame her face and the only makeup that she wore was a thin line of forest green eyeliner and some mascara.

Vivian took her car keys off of the rack and kissed Naomi goodbye, tossing a quick goodbye to Kili.

Lauren looked at Kili sternly. "Bedtime is nine-thirty. No exceptions. There are leftovers in the fridge."

The four of them left and Kili and Naomi decided to eat a bit and then settle down for a movie or two.

* * *

After an uneventful dinner the pair decided on "The Sixth Sense" for the first movie of the night. About halfway in Naomi curled under Kili's left arm and rested her head on his torso. As the movie ended Naomi looked up at Kili. "Are we different if I told you I love you?"

Kili laughed. "No."

The little girl giggled and put in "The Anderson Tapes". She clambered back to his side and snuggled back into his stomach. "Good."

Kili rested his hand in Naomi's hair. "I love you too, Little One."

* * *

A.N. Naomi may seem a bit older than five in this and I'm kinda expecting someone to say something about pedophilism but from what I remember about being five one tells almost anyone "I Love You." Maybe that was just me. Kili is currently filling the 'big brother' spot for Naomi and that won't change for a while. BTW The next chapter will be date night and so far I've only gotten one restaurant from a reader! I need you guys' input! Please, please please leave me a comment! Even if it's to yell at me for begging for reviews! I really want to hear from you guys! OH! and Haru means Grandfather in Sindarin. just y'know, throwin' that out there


	15. Date Night

Chapter 15. Date Night

Meanwhile the other four had arrived mostly intact, Thorin and Fili had never been in a car before, at the Il Cantinori Restaurant in Greenwich. When they were seated and handed menus Vivian and Lauren had to explain most of what everything was.

Thorin was eventually convinced of the Tagliata Cantinori( Rib eye steak with herbs.) while Vivian, who was a semi-regular, decided on Scampi Con Spinachi E Pomodoro. ( Grilled shrimp over spinach, with red and yellow tomatoes.)

Lauren and Fili chose to share a plate of Polletto Alla Paesana. ( Free range chicken with balsamic vinegar.) Vivian and Lauren also ordered a bottle of 2006 Barbera wine.

After eating most of their dinner Thorin began telling Lauren and Vivian about Fili and Kili's childhood. The stories were mostly about the little scrapes and scuffles that the pair would get into, others about the pranks they used to play on each other and Thorin and their mother.

" And once when Kili was but a wee thing, only just learning to toddle about and wreak havoc, Fili made him a teething toy." Thorin chuckled at the memories. "Fili didn't realize what his carving looked at the time but we still have it, and I'll show you some time. Anyway I'd come home tired from meeting with the Lords of the Blue Mountains and Iron Hills and I see little Kili sitting on the floor sucking on a wooden rendition of a-" He broke off, using hand motions to convey his meaning.

Lauren looked scandalized and Vivian simply broke into snorts and guffaws. "He carved- a- dildo- for his baby brother to teethe on?"

Thorin looked rather confused but Vivian explained in hushed tones what exactly that was.

Thorin nodded. "He didn't know what was wrong with it or why he had to make Kili a new teething toy. But over time it has become something of a tavern legend. And when Kili's there the lad's a brighter red than him." He waved his hand at Fili whose golden curls were offset by the deep red of his face.

"Well Uncle wasn't the most innocent person when it came down to it either." Fili muttered.

Vivian inclined her head interestedly. "Oh?"

"Balin once told me that Uncle had tried to get better acquainted with his horse by having…..relations with it." There was something like a fighting edge to his words.

Thorin had been coolly sipping his glass of wine, wondering what his sister-son was going to bring up.

He almost spewed his drink over the table. "Lies! How drunk was he? Tha-he-no-aaargh!" Thorin spluttered.

"I was also told that the first time he tried the healers almost had to stitch that… area back together from the force of the kick!" Fili continued ruthlessly.

Thorin was still spluttering. "No! That bast-! Lies! No! Vivian you don't believe him do you?" The last bit was wheedling and begging.

Vivian narrowed her eyes, contemplative. "Tell me more."

This time it was Lauren who cut across Fili. "Speaking of children, I want to go home and check on Naomi and Kili."

Vivian pulled her cell phone from her bag and looked at the time. "Holy shit! It's nine-forty! We need to get back."

Lauren drove with Fili beside her in the passenger seat while Thorin and Vivian sat in the back. The ride from Greenwich to Cambridge was about and hour so Vivian decided to use Thorin's legs as a pillow and sleep for the ride. Thorin began to thread his fingers through her hair and soon Vivian was dozing happily.

Lauren always drove one-handed and had laid her other hand on the center console. Fili, in a fit of bravery, slid his hand over hers and curled his fingers between her knuckles. Lauren took her eyes off of the road for a few seconds to look at Fili with a degree of acceptance and tightened her fingers around his.

* * *

When they finally arrived home Thorin and Vivian found their bed over taken by two figures, one curled around the other snoring softly in the middle of the bed.

Too tired to even undress everyone fell asleep on top of the covers in their separate beds, each male with an arm around his female, bodies flush.

* * *

Far away Gandalf sighed. Slowly but surely.

* * *

A.N. I'm sorry that this chapter was soo short... :( BUT! Happy Valentine's Day! This one was a milestone anyway but I decided to present it to you as a Valentine's gift. Thank you glorious reviewers who enjoy my hobby! I love you all!


	16. A Day At The Park

Chapter 16. A Day At The Park

* * *

The next morning no one was awake until ten thirty. When Vivian did rise from the warmth of Thorin's arms to get coffee and she glanced at the clock on the microwave she did a double take. That wasn't right. She took her phone off of the charger and turned it on.

"SHIT! Lauren Summers get up!" Vivian ran in a frenzy over to the mattress on which Lauren and Fili were sleeping. Lauren raised her head blearily. "Mmm?"

"It's after ten! We have work!"

Lauren jolted up. "Shit!"

The rest of the house was quickly woken by their frantic rushing about, dressing, doing hair and teeth, demanding the location of various objects. Thorin had a tad more sense than Fili, and he rolled out off of the futon and slipped into the kitchen, dodging on the way a flying tube of empty lipstick, an empty wallet, and a tube of toothpaste. Once in the kitchen he reached for a travel coffee mug and into the refrigerator for the French Vanilla creamer.

As Vivian was rushing around for her phone and her car keys Thorin pressed the coffee into her empty hand and a quick kiss to her forehead.

"Drive safe." He murmured.

"I will." She said stunned.

Lauren and Fili exchanged a parting hug and the girls were out the front door in a flash.

"M'hungry." Naomi announced from her place kneeling on the bed beside a bleary-looking Kili.

"S'back-to-bedtime Munchkin. I'll feed you in a bit." Kili muttered, irked that he was woken by having a purse land on is head. Kili pulled Naomi back down beside him and the little girl squirmed out of his grip.

"Oi! I'm cold, get back here!" Kili's head raised and he looked at her with mock-anger and much-disheveled ebony curls.

Naomi just gave him the 'Really?' look over her shoulder at him and attacked Thorin and Fili with good morning hugs.

Kili was outraged. "OI! You little traitor!"

Naomi giggled and hid behind Fili's knees. Kili by now had swung his legs out of the covers and over the edge of the bed. "I'm gonna get you! And he's not gonna save you either!"

When Kili launched from the bed across the room to scoop Naomi into his arms and toss her gently onto the bed. Fili smiled and watched Kili truly smiling and happy. Naomi giggled and shrieked as Kili's fingers spidered over her stomach and feet, teasing the nerve endings with a feather-light touch.

The door banged open and the dwarves were instantly moving to protect the child, each with a clear memory of Azog only a day or so ago.

Vivian and Lauren flounced angrily into the flat. Each shouting into the phones at their ear.

"You don't realize what you've thrown away do you?" Vivian paused. "_I'm _a dime a dozen? Then you, Mr. Conceited-Asshole-Creeping-Fuck are a dime a fucking _million_!"

Vivian paused again. "You know I don't actually think that I will regret that. Why? Because I'm sure whatever judge you put up will be _very _interested in the _documented sexual harassment_ that I have. Oh? My job? No I don't think that I do want it back. I'm going to find a boss who is without herpes and an utter disregard for boundaries. _Sayonara _asswipe."

Vivian hit a button the phone and turned to Thorin, a smile plastered to her face. "Hey honey. I'm home."

Lauren's conversation was less interesting as she, rather than being fired, was situating a three week paid vacation. Lauren had never used her vacation days so her boss allowed her to use all of them at once. (Understandably unlikely but Lauren's boss was considerate and one of the few people who knew how bad the split from her husband was.)

Once Lauren finished on the phone Vivian told everyone that they were going for a day in the park.

Naomi dragged Kili into her room to help him get dressed and so that he could help her pick out a dress.

Lauren and Vivian also just about dressed Fili and Thorin after changing out of their work clothes. Once everyone was dressed for the warm day Vivian and Lauren began packing a basket with food and two sealed containers of mint-lemonade.

The Dwarves were particularly good looking in their outfits. For once the only thing telling the apart was the light cotton over-shirt over their wife beaters and knee-high khaki cargo shorts, Kili's was olive green, Fili's white, and Thorin's was light blue.

The girls decided that only one of the cars wouldn't fit all of them, so Lauren ended up taking Fili, Naomi and Kili in her black Thunderbird convertible and Vivian, Thorin and all of the gear were traveling in Vivian's white Blizzard Pearl Toyota.

The ride to the park was jarring for the Dwarves, especially Kili, but everyone managed well enough. When they arrived Thorin and the girls carried the bags of toys and other essential things and the food.

While Naomi and the brothers ran around playing tag the others set up the picnic area, laying the blankets beneath a large shady oak, and calling the child and glorified children to food.

The remainder of their day passed in whimsy and laughter and play. That is until the storm.

* * *

A.N. AAHHHHH! I've officially broken 100 reviews! I love that people think what I do is fun and choose to tell me so! Hope everybody RnR's! First time I've left you guys with a good(ish) cliffie in forever!


	17. That Fateful Day

Chapter 17. That Fateful Day

(Kili's POV)

I will never forget that day and the days and years that followed.

The day of the storm.

The rain had soaked everything that we had brought with us, from the seats and the basket to the clothes on our backs. We drove home without incident, unless you count a passionate and unexpected kiss between Thorin and Vivian. The house was quiet and we all washed our clothes and ourselves. Everyone separated into their pairs and we curled together, choosing 'Hannibal Rising' as our movie of the night. Not one of us lasted through the entire thing.

I woke to find Naomi's hands curled tightly in the shirt that I had fallen asleep in and her deep blue eyes gazing into mine.

"Morning." I said with a grin.

"Hi." she replied.

I pulled her into my arms and we rose from the bed to get something to eat. I pulled bread from a bag and asked Naomi if she knew how to make toast, she did.

I took a pan from under the sink and three eggs from the refrigerator, I cracked the eggs into the pan and whisked them with a fork. When they were done Naomi's toast popped out of the toaster and we sat down to eat breakfast, Naomi sitting closer to the door and I opposite her.

We chatted. About what we wanted to do today, about the new dolls that she wanted for her birthday. And suddenly she stopped.

"My birthday is today! Kili I'm six!" Her grin ran from ear to ear, and she hugged me about the waist with enough ferocity to tip the chair I was sitting in. She clambered into my lap and nestled her head underneath my chin.

"Happy birthday, Little One." I said and I kissed the top of her head. I breathed in her soft, flowery scent and wished that this moment would last lifetimes.

* * *

Soon everyone else was awake and eating breakfast while Naomi chattered on about where she wanted to go, and what she wanted to get for her birthday. Later we drove her to the waterpark not far from Greenwich and spent the day there laughing and playing. It was obvious to me that The other four were quickly taking to each other in a more-than-platonic sense. Thorin had his hand lightly cupping Vivian's hip as they stood to watch Naomi slide. Fili and Lauren had chosen to stay dry for this visit and appeared to be talking animatedly on a park bench not far away.

Naomi ran into my arms and I swung her around laughing. Quickly she dropped from my hold and ran to play with the other children.

I felt a chill run down my spine as I lost sight of Naomi for only a moment. I looked to Thorin and Vivian, they had the same concerned, fretful look that I was sure I did. I jogged to where I had seen her last. Nothing.

Screams of terror cut across all of the laughter in that waterpark. A young girl's petrified screams rang through the air. Screams of my name.

I searched frantically for the source of the screaming but I could see nothing of her until it was too late.

Three burly men had Naomi in their arms and were shoving her into a white van. I was nearly upon the when they drove away, and I ran after them, cutting open my bare feet on the glass and rocks.

I ran after the van until my Uncle caught me up and held me back.

"Kili.. Kili….She's gone." Thorin sounded so… broken.

I tried to rip myself away from him. "NO! No! I-I! I have to go after her! Uncle let me go! I have to have her back!"

But no matter how hard I struggled, Uncle held me fast. My shouts and struggling turned to choked sobs and I fell to my knees in the middle of the parking lot. I felt ripped in two. Broken.

I don't remember much more of that day. Police interviews and that, not much else, I try not to.

* * *

It's been almost ten years.

Fili and Lauren did get married, they have two kids now. Lilli Andrea, and Charles Mason, six-year old twins the spitting image of their father. I don't think I could face them if they looked like Lauren.

Thorin and Vivian got married and had kids too.  
Four, in fact.

The oldest is a girl, Amelia Rose, she looks exactly like Vivian, but for the piercing blue eyes that could have only come from her father.

The others are part of a set of three, two twin boys and a girl.  
The boys are Markus Andrew and Alexander Marshall. I have never seen a closer likeness to Thorin facially, they also had the luck of being the recipients of Durin's semi-uncommon auburn hair gene and Vivian's bewitching hazel eyes.

Dis Moira is the only child who resembles both of her parents equally. She has a softer jaw than her father but not as much as her mother, jet black hair and blue-hazel eyes. Ami is nine and the triplets are five.

* * *

I know that one day Naomi will come back to me one day. I can only hope that it's soon. I don't know how much longer I can be without her. I never did tell her how much she meant to me. I've never stopped looking. Hoping. Waiting.

* * *

A.N. Please don't kill me. There will be a sequel. She will come back. Do you want me to do little ficlets about the kids? Or just hurry up and give Kili his Naomi back? The next update for this story will be the name of the sequel.


	18. Goodbye For Now

Chapter 18. Notice!

The name of the sequel for this story is called "For The Windows In My Twisted Little Paradise." The first chapter has been updated with this one. I would like to say one last thank you on this story to everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed, PM'ed or otherwise told me that you liked it. I have a special thank you to Tr1x1e for being the person who allows me to bounce ideas off of her, without you this story would not be half of what it is.

On this note my darlings I say goodbye for now!


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